Some wonder what we're doing here. I'll be honest, _I_ need to read what I write so I can do teshuva. That's right, I'm giving Torah lessons to myself and letting you read it.

Have you ever had someone ask for directions where you know to get where they want to go, but you don't know exactly how to tell them. So you say, 'I'll take you there, or better yet, I'll just show you'. Towards the End of Days (and we are close, very close) we wonder, who can we trust? There are so many out there who claim to know.

In the marines we had what was called 'leadership by example'. We as officers had to roll up our sleeves and get in the mud. So, if you are searching and want some directions, I'm down fighting through the mud with you. But, because I've fought through some of the trail, I can also warn you "LOOK OUT DON'T STEP ON THAT!"

The guy in front, fighting his way through the mud first in line is called "walking point". I've walked point before, didn't like it much. There's a certain place you come to inside, when you just walk and say "please Hashem, just let me live." And you go on knowing that you could save your buddies behind you. If you're really lucky, you'll see what's coming in time to save yourself as well. More than a touch of paranoia is required when walking point.

This is true in the the spiritual realm as well. This is the emunah vs paranoia syndrome that it takes to walk in the world today. But there is a level above this! The level of B'tachon, complete trust in Hashem.

It takes work to get there. The first thing is to close your eyes to this world, reach inside and let your spiritual senses take over. You have to develop them, just as one can develop one's physical senses. In the jungle, if you close your eyes periodically you just might hear what you can not see, thus avoiding ambush. It is the same if you shut off this world of distraction and tune in to the world of truth, we begin to understand what Hashem is trying to say to us... With everything that happens to us, every word from our spouses, what our kids say, or neighbors or co-workers or the traffic cop, all is designed to help us come close to Hashem. But we need to look beyond what appears to be natural and start to hear and see with our neshama - soul.

The whole world is screaming at us! The more we can limit these distractions the better for us. The TV and the radio, all the news and the shows, the movies and and oy va voy the commercials. No wonder we can not hear or see. We just want to run away! In truth, that's exactly what we need to do. Take a hour a day and just shut off the phone, leave the car and the job and family, and connect to the Source, to Hashem! Tell Him everything. All the hopes, dreams, plans, troubles...everything. You don't need a therapist or to gossip at the coffee machine. Go tell it all, to the only One who can fix it at it's root!

Rebbe Nachman. My Rebbe, wrote over 200 years ago exactly what I/you needed to know, now, to come out of the jungle alive. As a veteran survivor of many battles, both emotionally and spiritually as well as physically, I want to share what I know to work. Please G-d, I will start to share what I've learned.

When there is a fire, no one argues with the exit signs. These are especially for times of trouble, even more so if you find yourself walking point.

G-d willing, in my next post I'll share one of Reb Noson (of Breslev's) prayers. It has been an inspiration, time and again when I feel no hope it always rescues me from doubt!